miercuri, 3 noiembrie 2010

The Outsider

Hey everybody! This is an article that will make people confused... they’ll say “hey, is this my supreme god’s blog? Cos it’s not in Romanian... what is wrong with him?!?”... I will answer you guys too by saying “everything!”... but it doesn’t matter...

This goes out to some of my facebook friends that like me (still can’t understand their reasons as I’m really not a good person to be around) ... so... I’ll have to mention here Geraldo and Sheila, yeah, you know who you are, stand up now! I’m kidding, don’t stand up, exercise is bad! .. for me...

I still don’t know the subject of this post... I might name it ‘untitled’ but... maybe something will come up as I’m writing in order to name it... so.. let me tell you about what I’ve been doing lately... uhmm... woke up, made coffee, thought about showering, disagreed with that cos it’s cold not because I’m lazy, but yes, that too, (also it’s not December yet and I showered this month already hehe), opened up illegal copy of word and started typing and... here we are...

Long term “lately” you say?!? Ok... uhmm.. well.. I’m working hard to catch up on everything that needs to be done in the small company that I take care of... this takes a lot of my time, time that I already didn’t have... as I already had work to do for my other “paid hobby”...

This is also bad for my bones as they started to hurt badly... however, somebody promised me a massage these days, as soon as I have time... besides, dunno why I’m complaining, it’s obvious that I’m old now...

It’s implied... you get old, your body hurts (amazing body in my case), you start to lose friends, in time you remember where you left them and start an old people search party, which is really useless cos they’re probably doing the same thing and they search where you’ve been and vice versa .. so you better stay where you are... see? Laziness is good in this case... what else happens when you get old? Oh yeah.. your skin wrinkles... yes, yours... mine doesn’t cos , you know, I’m Micutz... I don’t wrinkle... sucks on you though..

What else? Body hair whitens... wish our teeth would do that, right? I’m starting to think that we still haven’t evolved at our max... The Neanderthal had a lot of hair.. monkey hair... to protect him from cold... till he build a house... and yeah, a Gillette... haha... kiddin’... and then the man grew in height as he started to build bigger houses with levels but probably forgot to design cave stairs... and he decided to not be a hunchback anymore and grew and got bigger... and now that I’ve just described the 80’s we can go further and talk about how he got smaller again... the main cause was a prick guy that stole an idea from a colleague... and he created a huge wave and big world (r)evolution by creating ... personal computers... and I hate them all... oh wait.. no, I do not hate computers... I hate their users...

cos they call me and ask me “hi, I cannot open a software that I use... I have some files that I need to send them to the bank and I can’t open them(...), what can I do?(.... ),what does double-click mean?(...), windows opened them automatically, I didn’t use a software”. This just happened a few seconds ago... yeah.. It’s annoying cos one day I had to drive 40 miles to ... plug in a printer! Cos “it doesn’t print”! Well, yeah, cos it has to be connected to the f`ing computer...

Getting back to my idea now... as computers grew, people got smaller and hunchbacked again... so, somebody’s playing a joke on us... hair gets whiter as teeth get more and more yellow/grey/black... losing hair above, growing some new one down our spines... do not bend over when you reach 30! It’s not nice anymore... I used to want to have facial hair... now I have to shave it at 2-3 days... or else I might take somebody’s eye out while walking on the street... (which reminds me how much I hate umbrellas... Rihanna should be punished for that song)... oh, try to get rid of the nose hair... you’ll just cry about it! That’s no joke...

Also... have you seen how people look different at you as years go by... yesterday was like “fucking kid, wants to stay down and he has his whole life ahead and his youth at his side”, today it’s like “fuck you, daddy, I’m stealing this seat in the bus from you” and tomorrow you’ll get “here, grandpa, take my place”... and you’ll be amazed and say “grandpa?!? I’m only 28”... and they’ll say “hell then, take 2 seats and lay down cos you look like hell, dude!”...

Of course, that happens to others, not me... I’m old on the inside, on the outside I look like I just got out of the high-school ... and they’re running toward me... with guns ... for “loving” all the 17 year-old that look and feel 25... kiddin’.. in a way... cos I’ve seen 13 year old girls that post pictures on their hi5 and facebook, almost naked in the mirror... It seems everybody has a mirror that shows them almost naked (self note, buy one for every room!) ... question is: why would they want to grow up? It’s so nice to have no worries and just play all day long... that was when I really ruled the world...

I’m also saying that it doesn’t happen to me cos 2 years ago somebody asked me for ID’s, to prove I’m over 18, at a shop when I asked for a pack of cigarettes... so... that was awkward... in conclusion, when I’ll be 40, I’ll look 28 and feel... dead!

I know that cos I’m already asking questions about my existence... why was I supposed to be here? To create one more shadow on Earth... sucks... there’s no place for me here... I’m only surviving cos it’s that fashion thing to do these days... allowing days to pass... no plans, no dreams, no nothing... the only thing you need to live for is ... chocolate! :D ... no, kidding... not only chocolate... chocolate and KFC ! yes... there we go... best things in life...

Good thing, my life partner (Missy), does not eat those 2... so... more for me! I mentioned cigarettes... I’m gonna have a new post soon about them... it’s going to be a celebration article about them...

Here’s a quick joke for you... Q: why did the chicken cross the street? A: cos everybody did.... Q2: Why did everybody and the chicken cross the street? A2: Cos they were all in the same truck! ... Q3: what truck? A3: the KFC chicken delivery truck! Muahahaha!

Damn, I wrote a lot today... and I wasn’t even the funny, sarcastic self... this means that there must be something right with me... cos my normal self means everything wrong... I’m gonna leave you with 1 amazing song that describes life... it’s so hot and beautiful but it’s evil and disastrous... cos we’re all lying to ourselves all the time... we’re throwing everything away and then regret it... we’re self destructing ourselves one bullet at a time... and, in the end, we’ll all have our day to die... except me, of course... cos they were right about me... I’m living in my own hell... never heard of a hell’s ending... so this must be forever... god damn it... oh, sorry, I mean, Micutz damn it! Enjoy the song... and your hell! If you disagree with me, shoot me! Ha!

Note: Official video starts at 1:20. Or you can use this link that I couldn’t embed here.



PS: in the end I named this ‘the outsider’ because... I am one! And the song fits perfectly!

6 comentarii:

  1. Micutz - the outsider god...interesting!

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  2. Hehe... of course ... you forgot "supreme" but I forgive you :D

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  3. Well thank you Supreme God! You are very kind...but don't expect me to take a bow :)

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  4. don't worry, you don't have to... not that kind of a god :))

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  5. Oh man, finally… This is so great! Now, about the things you wrote… What are you doing inside my head? Get out of there, NOW!!! Hehehehe… Great video too. You rock man, you rock! ;)

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